For a number of years, for a number of reasons, I've not attended church in person. I've continued to worship via online services.
The Lord has gently made me a way out of my former congregation where I had been a member for over 50 years. They have adopted principles and beliefs I find unscriptural, but even so, apart from the Lord's providence, I would have clung to the familiarity of the dear setting in which I once worshiped with my parents and extended family.
First, my Alzheimer's mom's condition deteriorated and I was forced to place her into nursing home care after 12 years of at-home caregiving. Mom was a difficult patient and I adopted the habit of attending the nursing home's services with her each Sunday morning.
Then, Mom passed away in January of 2020, and by March of that year, we were sheltering at home because of Covid. I had side effects to the vaccine and was told that Covid itself might be dangerous for me. And so I continued home worship.
Then, my health deteriorated with one problem after another. I'd had fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue since my 20's, and these symptoms worsened. I was probably suffering depression in the wake of my Mom's passing, and then I suffered a nasty fall on ice that left me hobbling with a hip injury that took the better part of a year to heal.
Deuteronomy 33 describes how the Lord ushered the Israelites to where they needed to be by stages. I feel He has ushered me to the doorway of a new church gently and by stages these past years.
Oddly, I have not felt one pang of guilt or any sense of failure or wrongdoing about worshiping at home, although I've sometimes fallen to fear of what other people think. Not, that is, until about two weeks ago when I suddenly felt the Holy Spirit's nudge saying, "It's almost time!"
I was convicted by this quote from Matthew Henry: “It is impossible to be sincere in the faith, sensible of the goodness of God, constrained by the love of Christ, sanctified by the power of the Holy Ghost, and yet be indifferent to the progress of religion, and the spiritual success of others, through love of ease, or fear of conflict. Let then your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
It has indeed been comfortable here at home, but this quote has provided me the impetus I need to face the discomfort of entering a new church in a different setting from the one in which I worshiped God in sweet fellowship with loved ones for so many years.
The Lord is with me. Soon I'll begin a new church attendance adventure. Father go ahead of me and make my path straight, as I know You already have done. Thank You for Your presence with me during all the stages of my life.
