God Keeps His Promises

I loved teaching school.  The highlight of my days had always been teaching kids to read, but toward the end of my career I received training that allowed me to do a better and more expedient job. I had grown into my calling and I knew I was, at long last, making a real difference in the lives of children. But then budget cuts took the individualized program that had allowed me to be more effective than ever before at helping struggling readers, and while I wasn't fired, I was demoted to the status of test giver.  I dislike achievement tests, and to spend my days administering stressful tests rather than providing real help to kids broke my heart.  My mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and I knew the Lord was leading me to a different calling.  

I struggled with this decision.  It took two years for me to accept that teaching was no longer the job God had for me.  During that time He gave me several promises that didn't seem likely to be fulfilled.  I saw a flower garden in my mind's eye and a drawing on a desk calendar by Mary Engelbreit resonated with me. The picture depicted a little lady wielding a garden spade and wearing a hat. I've always loved flowers but never had a green thumb and besides, I was sure I would never wear that hat.  Little did I know that in just a few years, an eye condition would require me to take precautions against bright sunlight, including a wide-brimmed hat!

God used that desk calendar once again when a photo of a young woman with blonde, curly hair holding a little yellow-haired baby touched my heart.  "There will be grandchildren," the Lord promised.  Being a grandmother was not yet on my radar  because my curly-headed daughter was still in college at the time and not yet married.  But still, grandchildren.  The thought brought a smile.  To hold and love a baby again!  

I finally took early retirement, and in a leave-taking that felt anticlimactic after 25 years of service, I walked out of my classroom for the last time. I entered immediately into fulltime caregiving for my Alzheimer's mom.  Including the time I provided part-time care for her before my retirement, I was her primary caregiver for nearly 16 years.  She died in 2020.  

With the advent of phone photos and my penchant for capturing moments of joy, I have abundant records of what happened next.  This morning as I walked in my flower garden, wearing my hat and snapping photos, I mused on the fact that a good portion of the zinnias in our overgrown garden have come up volunteer from just a couple of rows planted the first year after my retirement.  Without tending or planning, hundreds of the bright flowers have grown up across the grassy expanse of our neglected garden this summer.  I thought of Isaiah 49:21:  Then you will say in your heart, 'Who bore me these? I was bereaved and barren; I was exiled and rejected. Who brought these up? And a little further on in Isaiah 49:23: Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.  

I don't want to imply that my life now consists of a happy ever after in which I loll about in my flower garden with nary a care.  Happy ever after joy waits for us in Heaven, and although the Lord allows us  foretastes of that future joy, we can't have it to keep just yet. Even now our family is in the midst of navigating a number of stresses, but we are doing it together and with faith in the Lord's promises and provision.  

But I trust in your unfailing love;

    my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing the Lord’s praise,

    for he has been good to me.

Psalm 13:5-6

Higher Truth

I've become concerned with increasing numbers of reels seen on Instagram and Facebook that identify and condemn narcissistic behavior. I'm pretty sure that we are all narcissists to one degree or another. And as Christians, we must be cautious of making life decisions based only on human reasoning and logic.  

The facts of any situation can be delineated but our best efforts will yield only partial and often conflicting versions of the truth. There is higher truth in God's perspective, truth we sometimes have to take on faith rather than from what we can see.  

If the person labeled a narcissist has accepted Christ as Savior, the transformative power of the Holy Spirit is at work in that person's successive approximations toward an appearance of Godliness.The self-focused Christian's tendency to do the right things for the wrong reasons can, by the power of the Holy Spirit, end up to be wholly right. It's ok to respond to them as though their motivations were pure because, by God's grace, they are becoming pure! Never look at a human being created in the image of God and proclaim that because human logic shows they cannot change that they are disposable, rejectable, or leave-able. Never look at a situation or a person apart from the vast potential of the transforming power of the Holy Spirit.    

There's nothing logical about God's love. Human wisdom or AI will miss the higher truth of God's love and our love for one another through Him. Sometimes we feel foolish for continuing to love someone who does not deserve it based on their behaviors toward us.  But the illogic of the love that sent Christ to the Cross is at work in us.  It is not wrong to love those who don't deserve it.  This is the way God has loved each of us. 

Let's not sequester someone God has given us to love with labels created by human beings.  Human-formed categories can never contain the enormity of God's transforming power in the lives of those who are on the path to loving God as God has loved them.  

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Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8

*Necessary disclaimer, I do NOT advocate staying in an abusive situation. I'm not addressing physical or verbal abuse in this post, but the universal frustrations we as flawed human beings experience as a result of living with other flawed human beings.  

A Caution for Christians Regarding AI

 I have been appreciating Google's AI summaries of my search results.  I type in a question such as this: "Can I take Tylenol with Zyrtec?"  

Very quickly the answer appears, "There are no known interactions between Tylenol and Zyrtec."

Handy.  And useful for quick affirmation of something to which I was already pretty sure I knew the answer.  

However, just yesterday I was bringing my need for physical stamina to the Lord, and I remembered that when Nehemiah was rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem, that he prayed, "Now strengthen my hands." I couldn't remember the Scripture reference and did a Google search.  Here is the AI summary: 

"Nehemiah prayed for strength to continue his work despite opposition. Nehemiah sought God’s help to persevere: “Now therefore, O God, strengthen my hands" (Numbers 6:9). 

Nice enough, right? I stared at the AI answer a moment and prayed, "Lord what are You wanting me to see here?"  

Here is the summary I then wrote, custom-tailored by the Lord for me for the specific needs I was facing, via the direction of the Holy Spirit: 

"False accusations had been brought against Nehemiah.  His enemies hoped to get him wrapped up in self-defense and upset in his emotions about the judgments that human beings were bringing against him.  Nehemiah recognized his enemies’ purpose was to stop him from working on the wall by draining his strength through emotional upset, and prayed for God to strengthen his hands."

AI could not know (or care) that I had been suppressing fear of what other people think of me to the degree my strength was being misspent and my time wasted in self-defense.  This was a spiritual battle in that it took place entirely in my mind and emotions; no human being had actually expressed judgment of me.  I was responding to the enemy's whispers "If you don't do this, then they will think badly of you."  

I'm being purposely vague about my own circumstances, but I hope you catch my point: don't depend exclusively on AI; use your God-given mind to reach your own conclusions based on the Holy Spirit's guidance from within.  As Christians we need to be led from the inside out, and not from the outside in.  Worldly influences, no matter how reasonably stated or initially helpful, must not be used as a replacement for the Holy Spirit.  

AI is a convenient tool.  But don't depend on it exclusively even when you are doing a Bible search.  Recognize the difference between right-sounding summaries from AI and the right-indeed guidance of the Holy Spirit from within.  

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For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.

Romans 8:14 

Clarification: When I say we are to be led from the inside out I certainly am not encouraging people to follow their own hearts (aka, emotions). Our own ideas of what is good will quickly lead us down a garden path that ends in despair. I refer to the fact that God has placed the Holy Spirit in our hearts: "And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ, and has anointed us, and who has also put his seal on us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee" (2 Corinthians 1:21-23 ESV).  

Death to Life

 We have such trouble when unexpected circumstances interrupt our lives and make us feel forced  to do things we hadn't planned to do.  It is very hard for us to be instant in season and out of season (2 Timothy 4:2), because we need to feel a sense of control over the unfolding of our own lives.  We feel unwarranted shock and are prone to struggles with bitterness when our circumstances don't work out in the way we thought they would.  

Here's a quote from 100 Days to Freedom: Finding Rest in the Love of God: "We can't keep anything for ourselves, not even our own physical bodies, which are destined to die. But when we release all to God, His power is unleashed so that the mystery of resurrection--life from what has been crucified--brings new life and new hope.  'For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his' (Romans 6:5)."  

The comfort that is given us as Christians is that when our physical bodies die, we will be instantly in the presence of Christ, and that we will have what we need and it will be better than we ever thought it would be.  This comfort also applies to the call to "die to self" while we are still on Earth. When we surrender our schedules, our time, and the way we thought things would be to the Lord, we are instantly closer to Christ and we will have what we need, and it will be better than we ever thought it would be.  We begin to receive the blessings of dying in Christ while we are still in the land of the living.  

Revelation 12:11 tells us how Michael and his angels defeated the enemy:  "And they overcame him by the Blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they loved not their lives unto the death" KJV 

In other words, as they testified to the victory of Jesus Christ at the Cross and didn't let the possibility of death keep them from entering into the battle, Satan was vanquished.  

Our small, earthly, lives can mirror the magnificence of mighty angelic beings as we surrender our lives to Christ in service and in love.  

We can learn three things from Revelation 12:11:   

1.  The authority of the Name of Jesus. 

2.  Our testimony via Scripture promises, praise, and avoiding negative thoughts and words is powerful.  

3.  Dying to self through surrender of our plans, time, and service to the Lord leads to resurrection of new life that will be better than anything we could have planned for ourselves, even prior to our physical deaths and Heaven.  

This isn't a list of things to do, it's instruction for the state of our minds which flows from the state of our hearts.  Trust in Jesus, speak that trust, and believe that He is in everything that we find ourselves having to do, even and especially the things that weren't our idea and that we would rather not do.

Obedience

This morning I sought the Lord regarding my continued frustration in efforts to eat right and lose weight. I felt ashamed and that I had failed once again to demonstrate my love for Christ via the obedience path.  I've learned to continue to seek the Lord even when I've failed to obey Him as I should, but I came with hesitation, clutching the fig leaf of my own failure in an effort to hide the vulnerability of my sin. 

As I prayed, these thoughts came: 

You have great trouble trusting in the Lord rather than in your own efforts to renew yourself.  Don’t give up trying, but do give up the unreasonable despair you feel when you fail.  Your obedience is not the price God requires for loving Him.  Your obedience—and this is a “wrong” sounding truth to which a performance-based Christian would object—is not required at all.  It is only when the requirements are lifted that obedience becomes possible for weak human flesh.  Satan works hard to link the quality of your obedience to the quantity of your blessings so as to keep you under the law rather than under grace.  God's grace is not partial, nor does it depend upon you beyond your willingness to accept what He offers; God's grace flows wholly from the shed blood of Christ.  Obedience is not an “up front” cost of loving Jesus.  Obedience is a result of entering in to Christ’s love, not an admission price.  

It isn't that obedience is unimportant, but that it is not a requirement for entering into Christ's love.  It is in abiding in His great love that we are enabled to obey. When we reverse this process and make obedience the required outward sign that proves we belong to Christ, we become vulnerable to despair.  We must daily realign our focus from the self-judgment of examining our own performance to the enormous grace given us in God's love through Jesus.  

When Christ's blood placed us under grace rather than under the law, our focus was freed to be placed upon His love rather than upon our the quality of our own obedience.  

Everything always begins with His love.  

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But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

How Do You Know if You're Saved?

 Our oldest granddaughter is a heart-warming combination of spunk, determination, tenderheartedness, and faith.  She is a gymnast, has unparalleled energy, and her considerable social acumen includes skills of keen observation. Last year, at age 8, she made her public declaration of faith in Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior and was baptized. I am her grammy, and I think she is amazing.  

As background to the rest of this story, I'll share (again) that I've been through a difficult life-interlude since my mom died of Alzheimer's 5 years ago. Mom passed following a 16 year journey through dementia. She died in January of 2020, just at the beginning of the pandemic.  I was shell-shocked from heavy-duty caregiving responsibilities during the last years of her life.  

During the same timeframe, our church went through some changes that resulted in teaching I find unscriptural. I no longer felt I could support them with my tithes or attendance.  I'd been a member of this church since I was 16, and my memories of worshiping there with my extended family became a part of the grief of loss of my mother.  I fell into what I now recognize was depression complicated by a number of physical ills.  I began worshiping online during the pandemic and, I didn't know quite how to proceed. It just seemed incredibly painful and awkward to me to begin attending our little community's church that is now more in line with my beliefs, after over 50 years of attending the "other church" across town. Trapped by a slow healing from the wounds of caregiving plus those numerous physical ills, I continued home worship even after the pandemic ended.  

Meantime, all 6 of our grandkids and their families began attending that other church, the one I felt God was leading me toward.  Medication for depression helped me, and last Sunday, I sat with my kids and grandkids at church, worshiping together for the first time in about 6 years.  It was incredibly sweet and good, and after a circuitous route I felt I'd arrived at a church home.   

Last Thursday I picked up our now nine-year-old granddaughter from school.  After a snack and one episode of Wild Kratts, she was demonstrating some gymnastics moves.  She performed a handstand and fell over with her legs resting on the bed behind her. Still hanging upside down with her hands on the floor she said, "Grammy, how do you know you are saved?"  

I thought there was a strong possibility this was a test for me; a 9-year-old sees things in black and white and this child's grandmother had been apparently remiss in church attendance.  Maybe she was concerned for my eternal salvation.  

Or, maybe she was concerned for herself.  I decided to answer the question from her perspective.  

I said, "Once you have told Jesus you are sorry for your sins, and that You want Him to come into your heart and to live for Him forever, it's a done deal. We are saved by believing in Him, and so long as you want Him even a little, with faith even as tiny as the tiniest of seeds, you are His. After that it depends on Him and not you. If you stray from Him, He will come after you. He will work in your circumstances to bring you back. Nothing can separate you from His love."  

I let that sink in for a few seconds.   

I added, "Grandma Ruth said, 'Sometimes I've let go of Him, but He never let go of me.'"  

"He will not let go of you. There is a Scripture that says, 'I've not lost one of those entrusted to Me.'  He will not lose you. Your baptism showed the world that you belong to Jesus and was a sign of obedience to Him.  You are safe and saved." 

After a pause I added, "And so am I."   

"After believing in Him and getting to know how very much God loves you, then you will want to serve Him.  It is God's love for us and our love in response to Him that makes us want to do what He wants us to do. Obeying is the way we  show our love and gratitude for Him.  But it isn't the good things we do that save us. It's believing. You've done that.  You are saved."  

"And so am I!"  

She flipped down out of her handstand and said, "Are there any more snacks?"  

And of course, since this is Grammy's house, there were.  

Abide in His Love

You are not to judge, not even yourself.  Do your best to obey.  Consult with the Lord, obey, pray some more and repeat.  God loves you.  You don’t get graded for today.  Jesus has earned an A+ and your report card bears His “grade.”  Love is your debt, love is your portion, love is your joy and strength.  God is yours and you belong to Him; this is your joy.  

 

“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.  Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God”  Eph. 3:19 NLT. 

Back in the Saddle Again....

 For a number of years, for a number of reasons, I've not attended church in person.  I've continued to worship via online services. 

The Lord has gently made me a way out of my former congregation where I had been a member for over 50 years. They have adopted principles and beliefs I find unscriptural, but even so, apart from the Lord's providence, I would have clung to the familiarity of the dear setting in which I once worshiped with my parents and extended family. 

First, my Alzheimer's mom's condition deteriorated and I was forced to place her into nursing home care after 12 years of at-home caregiving.  Mom was a difficult patient and I adopted the habit of attending the nursing home's services with her each Sunday morning.  

Then, Mom passed away in January of 2020, and by March of that year, we were sheltering at home because of Covid. I had side effects to the vaccine and was told that Covid itself might be dangerous for me.  And so I continued home worship.  

Then, my health deteriorated with one problem after another. I'd had fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue since my 20's, and these symptoms worsened. I was probably suffering depression in the wake of my Mom's passing, and then I suffered a nasty fall on ice that left me hobbling with a hip injury that took the better part of a year to heal.  

Deuteronomy 33 describes how the Lord ushered the Israelites to where they needed to be by stages.  I feel He has ushered me to the doorway of a new church gently and by stages these past years.  

Oddly, I have not felt one pang of guilt or any sense of failure or wrongdoing about worshiping at home, although I've sometimes fallen to fear of what other people think. Not, that is, until about two weeks ago when I suddenly felt the Holy Spirit's nudge saying, "It's almost time!"  

I was convicted by this quote from Matthew Henry:  “It is impossible to be sincere in the faith, sensible of the goodness of God, constrained by the love of Christ, sanctified by the power of the Holy Ghost, and yet be indifferent to the progress of religion, and the spiritual success of others, through love of ease, or fear of conflict. Let then your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” 

It has indeed been comfortable here at home, but this quote has provided me the impetus I need to face the discomfort of entering a new church in a different setting from the one in which I worshiped God in sweet fellowship with loved ones for so many years.  

The Lord is with me.  Soon I'll begin a new church attendance adventure.  Father go ahead of me and make my path straight, as I know You already have done.  Thank You for Your presence with me during all the stages of my life.