The statement that really caught my eye said that caregivers who suffer this set of ills may take on some of the characteristics of those for whom they care, for example, someone who cares for an Alzheimer's patient may find herself becoming more forgetful (uh, what was I saying?? Oh, yes)....This portion of the article gave me a jolt because earlier that very day I'd written the following sentence in my journal: I feel resentful toward Mom but am imitating her lifestyle choices, the ones that contributed to her Alzheimer’s.
In recent months I've been diagnosed with low thyroid, high cholesterol, and most recently, lower back pain that has defied a summer's efforts to remedy.
I've begun and failed to follow through with program after program of self-improvement. Becoming a grandmother this spring, an event that I perceive to have been astoundingly joyous and incredibly precious, nevertheless impacted my health negatively. I recalled reading that any emotional life passage can exacerbate Alzheimer's symptoms in those so inclined.
I am tired and discouraged but I am not without hope. No matter what state I'm in, I rest in the assurance that I won't fall apart because I am not the one who is in charge of holding me together: "He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together," (Colossians 1:7). I do not have to analyze how I have gotten into the state I'm in because I can't do it. I'm stuck on this particular point on my time line, and the Lord is the only One who is able to inhabit my past and my future, as well as my present.
I'm going to walk forward in faith, because "...he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold " (Job 23:10).
The song, "Savior Like A Shepherd Lead Us," is in my mind tonight and provides comfort.
Scripture: "He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out" (John 10:3).