My friend, Denise, says that the only routine surgery is one undergone by someone else. There is truth in this saying, but cataract surgery has become so well-tolerated that most people categorize it as "no big deal."
Not me.
I've just come through an ordeal that, but for the Lord, would have been completely beyond my ability to traverse. There were weeks of sick dread, nightly rendezvous with the Lord, and tears, many tears. Finally, just two days ago, successful cataract surgery was completed on my right eye. I did not get sick. I did not suffer light-induced ocular migraine. I did not give way to panic or fear. I did have a ridiculous blood pressure spike, but suffered no ill effects.
I could record in detail the reasons I was afraid. They are valid, as valid as any fear that is formed from past trauma and layered with present risk factors can be. I could state the reasons I was vulnerable to a variety of complications so that it would be apparent that according to human logic, I had a low chance of coming through this ordeal safely. But what I really want to do is to describe the faithfulness of God.
I have waged battle against fear and the victory was won for me by the Lord. All I did was to pray and to keep on praying. I also activated two prayer chains and asked my friends and family to pray for me. Intercessory prayer can comfort and support better than any medication, and although I was embarrassed, pride gave way to need and to the knowledge that the prayers of Godly friends are powerful and effective.
It has been my habit to "drop a marker" at the places along my path that reveal God's faithfulness. This is an account of the Lord's victory and not mine; He has been gracious to me.
Here are the reassurances God provided leading to my surgery day. I hope others will find encouragement here also:
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Step aside, take your eyes from fear, and allow your Heavenly Father to fight the battle. It is ok to go into this naïve, because the Lord is all wisdom; it is ok not to advocate for yourself because He will advocate for you; it is alright to be afraid, because He will keep fear from hurting you. Everything, even the things you think you ought not feel, will work to your good. The Lord is with you. Do not be afraid.
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You are striving for the peace of faith in God. Hold steady.
Your times are in His hands. He has promised you a routine procedure, and you will have a routine procedure.
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You are not the only child of God who is afraid. You will be provided medicine that will calm your physical body and enable the trust you have in the Lord to take the fore.
Everything is being orchestrated for your good and none of it relies on you. From God's perspective, He is giving you a wonderful gift.
It’s as though a completely reliable (and in this case, omnipotent) travel agent has said, “Let me handle everything; you don’t even have to pack for yourself.”
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This entire path has been orchestrated for you and is a journey to blessing. Do not be afraid. This is not “the fire,” it is a walk through a garden of new experiences that will usher you to a better place physically.
The blessings you have experienced as you have walked through infirmity have been mercy drops, like the few, fat drops of rain that precede a shower.
You are at the threshold of a blessed season; this is not the beginning of the end, it is more akin to a rebirth. Embrace it as such.
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Keep up the good fight, as you have done, as you are doing. But if you “lose it” for a bit, the Lord will not lose you. He will usher you into the blessings He has promised you by His own hand.
You are afraid of losing control of your faculties through medication, pain, or fear. Do not be afraid. The Lord will not lose control of you, and His intent toward you is for good and not harm, blessing and not curses, joy and not sorrow. It is true that sometimes God instructs His children not to be afraid though they are walking into fire. But the Lord has gone ahead of you and straightened your path so there is, from your perspective, no danger and nothing to fear. God understands you being a tad jumpy; your experiences dictate the validity for dread. But inasmuch as you are able, expect good and not harm. Indulge hope, Child.
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You don’t have to be afraid because the great I Am is your Father, and He is at work on your behalf. Spirit, Son, and Father, together as One, on your side, actively working in your circumstances, nothing can touch you without His permission and guidance. Be encouraged, dear child, the Lord is with you.
