Wednesday, March 21, 2018
Be the Way Sunlit or Dark...
I'm blessed to live in rural Kansas. You read that right! I love the ever-changing sky, the shape of the land, and the changing seasons (as the joke goes, we sometimes experience all four seasons in the course of one day). My drive home from town includes a stretch I call "the straightaway," and over the years I've used this one-mile section of road as a place to decompress, pray, inhale deeply, and relax just a bit from the stresses of caregiving.
On my drive home early yesterday afternoon, I was fascinated by changing light patterns caused by gaps in the clouds above. The wind created swiftly moving sunlit patches, always just ahead of me. I wanted badly to drive right into one of those bright places, but I couldn't catch up.
One of these days I will arrive at a sunlit place that is free of the darkness of my mom's Alzheimer's disease. She will be released, and I will be in grief because of the loss of her living presence in my life. Even now, after these many years of living under the cloud of this wretched disease, I have trouble with the thought of that final release. But, as Mom has said, "It is sad that we humans so often view death with sadness and dread—the actuality is that it is a blessed doorway into God’s continual presence."
I'm grateful today for the Lord's abiding presence through every portion of my road home.