We Are Not Finished--Yet!

 I have finally gone through the remainder of the boxes we stacked in the back of a closet when, following her Alzheimer's diagnosis, my mother moved in with us in the spring of 2004. I found several oil paintings that Mom had completed, and heartbreakingly, the beautiful unfinished painting I used as the background of the meme at the head of this post.  Mom gave up painting when my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and she became his caregiver.  After his death, she did not pick up a paintbrush again.  

There is a pathos about this unfinished painting, but also a reminder that so long as we are bound by mortal bodies, we are going to have unfinished business. We can't reach perfection here, but we can walk the perfection path blazed for us by our Savior, confident that God finishes what He starts:  "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6).

Christ is the One who has finished His task ahead of us,  that we may walk in His footsteps to a successful completion of our own race. Until then, we press on in Jesus' Name.  

-~~~-

I love this rendition of Press On by Selah.  I found this lyric video at Youtube. There is a spelling error, but hey, we aren't perfect... yet!  :-)   Blessed be the Name of Him who goes before us and makes perfection possible for us at the day of Christ Jesus.  

Overcoming Brain Freeze

I had trouble thinking of a word this morning and fear of Alzheimer's attacked.  I then opened my devotional to find this Matthew Henry quote:

"The Lord shall prevent the evil thou fearest, and sanctify, remove, or lighten the evil thou feelest. He will preserve thy soul, that it be not defiled by sin, and disturbed by affliction; he will preserve it from perishing eternally.  He will keep thee in life and death; going out to thy labor in the morning of thy days, and coming home to thy rest when the evening of old age calls thee in.  It is a protection for life."  

Isn't that lovely?  It is from Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary, Psalm 121.

In prayer, I think the Lord provided me encouragement on how to handle those "brain freezes" that seem to happen more frequently for most of us as we age.  For me the first step is to remain calm, avoid the adrenalin surge of fear to which I'm prone, and if I'm writing and not speaking to come in the back door (I think when speaking it's best just to laugh and proceed with another workable term if possible, and please, do it quickly).

Now if you are interested in a kind of brain exercise that I believe is helpful in forming new pathways when age (or Lord help me, disease) has destroyed a connection, here is how I managed this morning.

I was making a list of things to do, and was reluctantly giving way to the nudge I feel to reactivate my Instagram account.  But the word "Instagram" would not come to my mind.  Brain freeze!  Here are the steps I followed: 

1.  Don't give way to fear, the Lord is with me (take it in stride).
2.  If speaking, find another term or laugh and change the subject--keep moving.
3.  When writing, take the time to go through these steps:

a.  Brainstorm.  Beware of similar terms that are inaccurate; they provide roadblocks that stop me cold. Ignore them.  

b.  Come in the back door, another way, through another connection.  Allow seemingly random words or thoughts to come to the fore

c.   When I reach the searched-for word by one of those random connections, find a way to remember it, forming a new connection.  

Here's how this looked for me this morning.

1.  Prayed
2.  Brainstormed:  image, snapchat, share, iMax.  I recognized snapchat and iMax as roadblocks and ignored them.
3.  Random term I allowed to come to the fore was "Kardashian."  I didn't take time to question this I just let it pop up.
4.  The correct word then popped into my head, "Instagram."
5.  I analyzed the new connection that had formed in my brain: when I read entertainment news it has often occurred to me that the Kardashians would be better off if Instagram were not so instant.  This was the connection that allowed the word "Instagram" to come to the fore.

The above process took about 30 seconds, time well spent because forming new connections in our brains as we age is important.  Those new connections can allow us to continue to function more or less normally for a longer period of time when old connections have, for some reason, stopped working for us.

Note:  whether I ought to waste my time reading entertainment news might be the subject of a future blogpost.  It pops up on internet news sources such as CNN, Fox News, etc., and a discipline we all need to cultivate in this day and age is knowing when not to click on a story!

Celebrating Your Loved One's Legacy

One of my favorites of Mom's paintings. 

After I left home, my mother took a class in oil painting and discovered an unexpected gift for painting skies and trees, crooked fenceposts and country scenes.  Her work was popular at local craft shows for a time, and she enjoyed it greatly.  Six of her paintings hang in my home, and it is not sentiment that causes me to grant them their places of honor; they are beautiful and I would love them even if the artist were not my mother.  One of the signs of Mom's approaching dementia was that she gave up this beloved hobby. 

Alzheimer's disease is categorized as a terminal illness, and I wish this designation would be changed. Many Alzheimer's patients have years of time remaining to enjoy life, and that word "terminal" can hang over the heads of caregivers, especially, as the grieving process is drawn out interminably.  I was helped by the realization that we are all terminal!  During the early years of my mom's diagnosis, especially, we proceeded with life as usual...yes, our "usual" had changed, but life does not remain stagnant no matter what one's circumstances.  Change is the norm.

Now, fifteen years into my mother's Alzheimer's diagnosis, she is 94 years old and has lived in a nursing home for two years. As has been characteristic of her disease, change has happened very slowly for her, but I am moving forward in my journey to release her into the Lord's loving arms as she draws irreversibly nearer to home.

 I've had a more difficult time with grief since Mom's nursing home placement.  You would think 15 years would've given me time to accept and adapt, but the reality of caregiving is such that we are often too busy with current loads of care to be able to process the grief that is headed our way.  I also have my doubts about the veracity of preemptory grief; I'm not certain we can do "grief work" for a sorrow that has not yet arrived.

I read an article today at caring.com that gave ideas about celebrating the legacy of a loved one who is dying.  The activities outlined in the article seem helpful to me; memorializing our loved ones with a quilt, a scrapbook, or a box of memories gives us a sense of...oh, if not closure, then the feeling that we have preserved their legacy and honored who they were.  I especially liked the idea of taking a class to gain a skill our loved one possessed, and then using their materials to create a work of our own.  This would preserve a visible "passing of the torch" and provide a continuation of a legacy that brought joy.

I don't know whether I'll ever take a class in oil painting, but my mom's legacy will continue through me in my writing and teaching, and most especially through my faith in the Lord, which grew from seeds she planted in my heart by her words and example through all my growing up years.

You can find the caring.com article of ways to preserve a loved one's legacy here:  5 Creative Ways You Can Celebrate a Dying Loved One's Legacy.  

Details from paintings by my mom. 

Trust

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen" Ephesians 3:20-21.