Saturday, May 16, 2009

God's Love In, Resentment Out

The battle against resentment toward my mom is ongoing. On the days when resentment suffuses my emotions, I have to choose to move forward through my day acting upon what I know to be true rather responding to the clamor of the enemy's cries.

Truth: I am fulfilling an anointed work in caring for my mother. Truth: God has ordained this time both for my mother's blessing AND for mine. Truth: God is being very gentle with me as He prepares me for my mother's leavetaking. Truth: God is with me always; I have not been abandoned.

The negative thoughts that come into my head remind me of the naysayers who sought to discourage and frighten Nehemiah's work crews as the wall of Jerusalem was being rebuilt. Nehemiah prayed against those who spoke slander against the Israelites, because they had "thrown insults in the faces of the builders" (Nehemiah 4:5).

When I went into my mother's room today "Oh Danny Boy" was playing on the easy listening music channel. Although no lyrics accompanied the orchestral rendition of the tune, a phrase from the song came into my head and tears formed in my eyes in response: " must go and I must stay..." This is the basis of my resentment toward Mom; she's leaving me. My mother's slow fading leaves a hole in my heart, and I must fill this emptiness with the Lord's love. Otherwise, I'm easy prey for negative thoughts that would slander my mother's character and tempt me to sin toward her by acting out resentment rather than love.

Scripture: "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love..." (Zephaniah 3:17).

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