Wednesday, December 15, 2010

An Encouraging Word for Christian Caregivers

The loneliness of caregiving is intensified by the fact that we tend to think something is wrong when we are in relationship with other human beings but still have a sense of isolation, of not being understood or truly seen; of being alone.

We need to accept that as long as we are at home in the flesh, we are away from Christ; and that this terrible homesickness and longing we feel can’t be satisfied by other human beings. We must accept as a fact of earth-bound life that we will feel lonely; that the only satisfaction for our heart’s needs is in our Savior’s face. We can access Him now, through the Spirit. Things that feed the flesh tend to weaken our perception of Him. Once we recognize this it becomes easier to discipline the flesh.

It’s difficult to accept that happiness--true, complete, lasting happiness--does not exist for us apart from Jesus. We can begin to participate in that happiness now, but flesh wars with the Spirit; and not until we leave the flesh behind will we be truly at home. Accepting this doesn’t have to do with spiritual maturity so much as it has to do with faith and the willingness to accept that on this planet, we are never going to have things just like we want them. Perfection can be found only in the Lord; it does not exist in the material world.

This acceptance is necessary before we can truly let other human beings off the hook for satisfying that aching emptiness within our hearts.

When circumstances require us to assume caregiving responsibilities for a fellow human being, there is a spiritual and emotional transition that must occur. We must come to understand that mature Christian love is Christ’s love, and Christ’s love makes no demands based on personal need. His only demand of us is that we become perfect as He is perfect. We can be perfected because we are perfectly loved by the Lord. That process will not be completed until Heaven, but it can begin now.

When I was a little girl, a dear friend of my mother's, Ruby Roberts, lost her husband to cancer. I was around eight-years-old and could not fathom living alone, as Ruby was doing following her husband's death. I asked her, "Are you lonely?"

She smiled and said, "I am alone, but never lonely. Jesus is with me."

As Christian caregivers I pray that we are able to participate in Christ's presence to the degree that we can say with Ruby, "I may be alone, but I am never lonely."


  1. Thank you for your words of encouragement. It is true that even at the busy holiday time, in a room full of people making merry, one can feel very alone and apart. I, too, pray that we all will feel Jesus' presence and realize that we are never alone.
    I would have loved to have met Ruby!--Jill

  2. Ruby was a marvelous Christian lady who influenced my mother early in Mom's walk with the Lord. Mom always spoke of Ruby with great respect, and as a young bride benefited from Ruby's words of wisdom and guidance. As a small child I shared Mom's respect for Ruby. How important it is that we mentor and intercede for our young Christian friends.

    Just a note of interest, Ruby was the sister-in-law of Roy A. Roberts, who was the influential president of the Kansas City Star during the Truman and Eisenhower administrations. I'm sorry to say I can't recall Ruby's husband's name. I was able to find Roy online, along with his photo when he was on the cover of Time magazine.

    Ruby is now a member of that "cloud of witnesses" spoken of in Hebrews, "Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us run with perseverance the race set out for us..."

  3. I found Ruby's husband's name on a history page for the Monticello United Methodist Church in Shawnee, Kansas. It is mentioned that Mr. and Mrs. Charles E. Roberts presented a picture of Christ to the church on the occasion of its 79th anniversary in 1944. When I saw the name, I remembered--CHARLES and Ruby Roberts! My mom joined the church in about 1955.

  4. This quote struck me..."Things that feed the flesh tend to weaken our perception of Him. Once we recognize this it becomes easier to discipline the flesh."

    Must remember that. This post blesses me much. I am always needing reminders that perfection can only be found in the Lord.