Friday, April 27, 2012

Do Not Repine

This morning at 4:00 a.m. my cell phone rang.  It was my mother.  She said, "Linda, why would you hide my glasses and my remote? I need them now."  She hung up before I could speak.

I went into her room and found her sitting in the dark in her recliner.  "Give me my glasses and my remote," she said.

I coaxed her back into her bedroom, and although she was not happy about it I was able to get her snuggled back in bed.

Back upstairs in my part of the house, I turned the baby monitor's volume up several notches and came into my office to write and pray until Mom fell back to sleep.  Soon I could hear her gentle snoring over the monitor, punctuated by my  husband's bass log sawing in our bedroom next door.  The injustice of my being the only one in the house awake ran deep, but I wasn't sleepy at all and began to fret.  Maybe I shouldn't' have quit my job. When Mom came to live with us I had no idea this Alzheimer journey would last so long. Maybe we should have handled this differently...

As I word processed my thoughts I felt the Lord speak to me with the clarity that seems to come only very early in the morning. That conversation went something like this (note: in my journal I record words I feel are from the Lord in bold-faced print, while my own meandering questions and comments are in regular font): 
 Do not repine. 

 I always forget what “repine” means. 

Don’t give way to emotion, or even to logic.  Give way to faith. definition of repine:  1. : to feel or express dejection or discontent : complain. 2. : to long for something.   

"Repine" also means to indulge regret over decisions that have already been made and opportunities that are lost.  Inherent in the Lord's command not to repine is  encouragement to look ahead and not behind. The Lord has provided for your needs and will continue to do so.
Temptations to indulge regrets and second guess decisions I've made in the past are not of the Lord.  A phrase from the great hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness" comes to mind:  Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow...

Praying for wisdom and strength today to follow God's command: "Do not repine." 

"Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ, and 
go out into the irresistible future with Him." 

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, February 18th reading


  1. Thank you so much for this post!! I needed to be reminded of this, so easy to do often times! Lately this has become something I have been struggling with, so this was very timely! Thank you! Hugs!

  2. Don’t give way to emotion, or even to logic. Give way to faith.
    I love that!!! Thank you for this sweet reminder.

    The baby monitors are wonderful, but even better is one that has the little camera. David never realized I could see him in the bedroom..... they're amazing and not that expensive..... I didn't need it at first, but as the disease progressed I needed to watch him closer.

    Hope you're having a good weekend!

  3. Dolores, I am really grateful for the cam/monitor idea. I had no idea they would be affordable. I'll be checking this out.