My Times Are in Your Hands

 

Fear has always been my biggest challenge. My life verse is Isaiah 41:10:  So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  

In Alzheimer's, my mother never expressed fear.  I often felt this odd and nearly unfair considering that during my formative years her fears for my welfare as her only child were so deeply instilled in me that I have struggled with fear my entire life. Mom, by contrast, relaxed into faith in the Lord.  Five years into her Alzheimer's journey she wrote these words into her journal, "It is sad that we humans so often view death with sadness and dread—the actuality is that it is a blessed doorway into God’s continual presence."  In the final years of her life, Mom was not bound even by fear of death.  

I pray to relax into trust that God means me good and not harm, and that my times are in His hands.  I won't make this transition in the same way my mom did; each of our journeys are uniquely planned by the God who created us and loves us. But today I affirm that I do trust You for my future, Lord, help me to trust You more...and deliver me from the fears that would overcome me but by Your grace and care.  Amen! 

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But I trust in you, Lord;

    I say, “You are my God.”

 My times are in your hands;

    deliver me from the hands of my enemies,

    from those who pursue me.

Psalm 31:14-15 NIV

The Lord is With You

 

"The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians 15:56-57 NIV).

I think one of the most difficult things about caregiving was the guilt.  I eventually learned to hold my tongue in response to Mom's harsh words toward me, but initially my heart was so hurt that I would either respond in kind, or try to talk her out of her point of view, which was fruitless.  When I became defensive or angry, I inevitably suffered guilt afterwards.  The emotions were complex; loss of a mother who provided care for me, hurt that she was so often angry with me, and a sense of betrayal were chief among them. But over all of this was the knowledge that she could not help having Alzheimer's, and if change was to happen, I was the one who needed to change.  

Change did come over time, by God's grace. But on days when I failed, I always found peace when I sought the Lord in repentance.  He accompanied us on every phase of our journey through Mom's Alzheimer's. You can trust Him to walk with you as well.  

My prayers and empathy are with those of you who are still in the throes of caregiving journeys of your own.  God bless and keep you.  

Daily Calendar

 

I have been posting a daily calendar thought on my Facebook caregiving page, and only today has it occurred to me that this might provide encouragement for any who follow this blog.  Heartfelt prayers now for those who are walking through a caregiving journey with a loved one.  God bless you and may His strength and encouragement bless your hearts today. 

If you prefer to follow these posts on Facebook, here is the url for my "Encouragement for Caregivers" page: https://www.facebook.com/Encouragement-for-Caregivers-151922870549. 

God Will Take Care of You!

 

We caregivers often face aging issues vicariously through our loved ones whose bodies and/or minds are suffering the ravages of age. This can lead us to fear for ourselves and for the future.  Isaiah 46:4 reminds us that the Lord will not leave or forsake us, even if we are old and gray, even if we become dependent on others.  This issue of prospective dependence is what frightens us the most, but we can remind ourselves that other people are only the vessels through which God provides His care. The Lord will continue to be our shepherd. He has made this commitment to us for our lifetimes here and on into eternity, by grace and grace alone, through Jesus.  The Lord will always be our Shepherd, so we have no need that will go unmet. He will deliver us safely home.