Friday, January 1, 2010
January 1 of a new year has arrived without my permission. It is a new year whether I would have it to be a new year or not. I would have chosen to delay 2010 indefinitely, because my son has graduated from college and will leave home for good sometime during this year. I believe I have the promise that he’ll be back to this geographic area, but it is the change of "permanent address" that is causing me sorrow. Jonathan will soon pack his bags and move his home base to another residence for good.
My son is about to leave his childhood home and to embark upon his life's journey. I don't know what his future holds, but the Lord knows. The Lord knows where my boy will travel and the Lord knows the path he will take.
As the title of the Celine Dion song states, “My heart will go on.” But today I’m lying in bed feeling half sick and willing time to stand still. I want my Mom to maintain her current level of functioning, my son to stay home, and my heart to be protected from further blows of grief and pain.
As I indulge these thoughts, I feel the slightest sensation of the Lord's discipline, as though He is saying to me, "Don't feel sorry for yourself. Partake in moderation of the comforts I've provided you today and step out in faith. I Am with you."
There is a gentle rebuke in this reminder. God is with me. It is never misplaced confidence to harbor hope for a future that includes God's presence with me.
Scripture: "There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off" (Proverbs 23:18).