The Love of God

 I happened upon this poem by Freda Hanbury Allen during my first pregnancy over 40 years ago. I had suffered severe morning sickness (hyperemesis gravidarum), lost 20 pounds and then capped it off with a virus that caused a fever, rash, and severe arthritic symptoms.  I read Allen's poem, based on Jeremiah 29:11, every day throughout that time of suffering and fear for our baby's health.  

In the fifth month of my pregnancy the Lord caused my path to cross with a woman who asked if she could pray for our baby.  She placed her hands on my small baby bump and when she prayed, I felt the child leap within me.  A sonogram a few weeks later renewed my hope for our child; all looked normal. Our healthy baby girl was born in November of 1980, and is now the mother of our three beautiful grandsons. 

When we go through difficult times, it is important to remember that God's love is with us and that it is safe to place our hope in the future He has planned.  

Poem based on Jeremiah 29:11 by Freda Hanbury Allen

The love of God a perfect plan
Is planning now for thee,
It holds a “future and a hope,”
Which yet thou canst not see.

Though for a season, in the dark,
He asks thy perfect trust,
E’en that thou in surrender “lay
Thy treasure in the dust,”

Yet He is planning all the while,
Unerringly He guides
The life of him, who holds His will
More dear than all besides.

Trust were not trust if thou couldst see
The ending of the way,
Nor couldst thou learn His songs by night,
Were life one radiant day.

Amid the shadows here He works
The plan designed above,
“A future and a hope” for thee
In His exceeding love.

“A future”– abiding fruit,
With loving kindness crowned;
“A hope”– which shall thine own transcend,
As Heaven the earth around.

Though veiled as yet, one day thine eyes
Shall see His plan unfold,
And clouds that darkened once the path
Shall shine with Heaven’s gold.

Enriched to all eternity
The steadfast soul shall stand,
That, “unoffended”, trusted Him
Who all life’s pathway planned.

I have an heritage of bliss,
Which yet I may not see;
The Hand that bled to make it mine,
Is keeping it for me.”

Metamorphosis

 

I have been feeling discouraged.  It seems to me that I fall far short of all God would like me to be.  I need to be kinder. I need to change my eating habits.  I need not to be so afraid, because God is with me, and I should not fear His will or doubt His protection.  

In prayer this morning, these thoughts came as from the Lord to me:  

Child, I do not tell a caterpillar that it needs to change. It is in the process of changing. It is unable to change faster, indeed, efforts to accelerate change ahead of the organism's natural timing are detrimental; the chrysalis must be left alone, not cut away.  

I was depressed over my sins and failures, and, feeling more like a slug than a caterpillar, I inquired of the Lord how one tells the difference between the two.  

The answer came gently: we tell the difference between a slug and a caterpillar by the end product.  A slug remains a slug, but a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly.  And there came the gentle assurance that both the Lord and I will be pleased with the transformation He is working in me.  

The Lord has put a vision in our hearts of what we will one day be; let's allow Him time to work the needed changes in us.  Meantime, let's not be hard on ourselves when we see that the transformation is not yet complete.  We each are a work in progress

My Times Are in Your Hands

 

Fear has always been my biggest challenge. My life verse is Isaiah 41:10:  So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  

In Alzheimer's, my mother never expressed fear.  I often felt this odd and nearly unfair considering that during my formative years her fears for my welfare as her only child were so deeply instilled in me that I have struggled with fear my entire life. Mom, by contrast, relaxed into faith in the Lord.  Five years into her Alzheimer's journey she wrote these words into her journal, "It is sad that we humans so often view death with sadness and dread—the actuality is that it is a blessed doorway into God’s continual presence."  In the final years of her life, Mom was not bound even by fear of death.  

I pray to relax into trust that God means me good and not harm, and that my times are in His hands.  I won't make this transition in the same way my mom did; each of our journeys are uniquely planned by the God who created us and loves us. But today I affirm that I do trust You for my future, Lord, help me to trust You more...and deliver me from the fears that would overcome me but by Your grace and care.  Amen! 

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But I trust in you, Lord;

    I say, “You are my God.”

 My times are in your hands;

    deliver me from the hands of my enemies,

    from those who pursue me.

Psalm 31:14-15 NIV

The Lord is With You

 

"The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians 15:56-57 NIV).

I think one of the most difficult things about caregiving was the guilt.  I eventually learned to hold my tongue in response to Mom's harsh words toward me, but initially my heart was so hurt that I would either respond in kind, or try to talk her out of her point of view, which was fruitless.  When I became defensive or angry, I inevitably suffered guilt afterwards.  The emotions were complex; loss of a mother who provided care for me, hurt that she was so often angry with me, and a sense of betrayal were chief among them. But over all of this was the knowledge that she could not help having Alzheimer's, and if change was to happen, I was the one who needed to change.  

Change did come over time, by God's grace. But on days when I failed, I always found peace when I sought the Lord in repentance.  He accompanied us on every phase of our journey through Mom's Alzheimer's. You can trust Him to walk with you as well.  

My prayers and empathy are with those of you who are still in the throes of caregiving journeys of your own.  God bless and keep you.  

Daily Calendar

 

I have been posting a daily calendar thought on my Facebook caregiving page, and only today has it occurred to me that this might provide encouragement for any who follow this blog.  Heartfelt prayers now for those who are walking through a caregiving journey with a loved one.  God bless you and may His strength and encouragement bless your hearts today. 

If you prefer to follow these posts on Facebook, here is the url for my "Encouragement for Caregivers" page: https://www.facebook.com/Encouragement-for-Caregivers-151922870549. 

God Will Take Care of You!

 

We caregivers often face aging issues vicariously through our loved ones whose bodies and/or minds are suffering the ravages of age. This can lead us to fear for ourselves and for the future.  Isaiah 46:4 reminds us that the Lord will not leave or forsake us, even if we are old and gray, even if we become dependent on others.  This issue of prospective dependence is what frightens us the most, but we can remind ourselves that other people are only the vessels through which God provides His care. The Lord will continue to be our shepherd. He has made this commitment to us for our lifetimes here and on into eternity, by grace and grace alone, through Jesus.  The Lord will always be our Shepherd, so we have no need that will go unmet. He will deliver us safely home.  

Don't Be Afraid

 

The quote above is a favorite of mine from Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on Psalm 91.  

During the pandemic, I have prayed Psalm 91, 121, and 139 for my family repeatedly.  We know people who have died of Covid, and with my husband's and my own age-related health issues, I have been afraid.  

We have prayed hard before each excursion and trusted the Lord to keep us safe.  I thought I heard the Lord say, "It will not come near you," and claimed this promise.

But last week our nine-year-old grandson was diagnosed with Covid, followed by every one of his close family members in succession.  I counted this as coming very near to me indeed! It threw me for a proverbial loop; I felt my defenses had been broached and fought through a sleepless night of being nearly overwhelmed by fear. 

Our grandson was very sick for two days and then recovered quickly, perhaps having an easier time than he otherwise would have done because he is fully vaccinated. The challenges his brothers and parents have faced have also been relatively minor. They did not feel well.  But they are recovering.  

When I sought the Lord, He did not explain Himself to me. He rarely does. 

It's no good nursing a grudge toward the Lord. If one works through this kind of upset somewhat respectfully, with Bible in hand, it isn't necessarily sinful, but beating one's fists against the chest of the Almighty God just doesn't have an impact.  He doesn't let go of us, He waits until we are through with our reaction to whatever life event has caught us off guard, and then He reminds us of truth: He will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:35), and He will work all things to our good (Romans 8:28).  Nothing catches Him by surprise, and He has planned for every future event, indeed, He is already there, working on our behalf. We don't have to understand, but we do need to trust.  

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But I trust in you, Lord;

    I say, “You are my God.”

My times are in your hands;

    deliver me from the hands of my enemies,

    from those who pursue me.

Let your face shine on your servant;

    save me in your unfailing love.

 Let me not be put to shame, Lord,

    for I have cried out to you...

Psalm 31:14-17